Bad behaviour among teenagers is not the fault of parenting getting worse, say researchers.
Finally some sense coming from the UK. A recent study has found – shock horror! Bad teens may not be down to bad parenting.
The study found:
70% of young people were regularly spending time with their mothers in 2009 compared to 62% in 1986 – and the time spent with fathers had risen from 47% to 52%. Read more
Living with Teens
I am currently working with a company to implement a performance management system for their young employees and this work has led me to a book I read a very long time ago on the Fish Philosophy. I love the premises of this book and to be honest, it is how I live my life.
Anyway, to get to the point, these philosophies can be applied to your family with great ease, so I thought I would share them.
Parenting Teens The Fish Philosophy Way Read more
Modern Day Parenting
Parenting Teens is one of my favourite topics. Family conflict can be very frustrating and difficult teenagers even more so. But are we as the parents making things worse for ourselves? That was a thought I had recently so I asked one of my Teen Writers to tell us what gets on their nerves. So here you have it straight from the horse’s mouth over to you- Annie Brebner, 14 from Ontario, Canada.
What are some things parents do that get on their teens’ nerves? Read more
Are you a Parent Leader?
“As leaders we must stop trying to do what is easy with our children and start to do what is right. It is so easy for us to control, blame, shout and ground children when they don’t do what we want or what we say. It is far more difficult for us to concentrate on the relationship and ensure all our actions are actions from love. When something goes wrong with our teenagers we must stop trying to fix it and start to work on a loving and caring relationship instead.” Read more
Parenting Teen Tips
I have recently been working with a lot of parent clients who appear to have a theme going on with their teenagers and that theme is letting go, so I thought I would write a bit about that.
These clients are successful women who absolutely want the best for their children, as long as it fits in with their idea of what is best. When it comes to their child making a decision which is not what they expected, they find it very difficult to let their child be with this Read more
When it comes to your teenager, are you sick of them not doing what you asked them to do, or what they said they would?
Parents and teens seem to argue so much about chores and about broken promises – Yes, I’ll do it in a minute! So what is the answer, how do you get your child to do something you have asked them? Read more
Our job as Parents is not to do what is easy!
Following on from my review of the great book The Genius in All of Us: Why Everything You’ve Been Told About Genes, Talent and Intelligence is Wrong: The New Science of Genes, Talent and Human Potential by David Shenk, I have some information about a great piece of learning for me.
I have always known that as parents our job is not to do what is easy, but to do what is right and I have suspected that we need to step back more and allow our children to fail; this was all affirmed in the book. I also suspected that giving in too easily could have massive consequences later on in life, but I was not sure why until I read this book and then it all made sense.
The book talks about an experiment involving children and marshmallows. The children were left in the room and told that they could have one marshmallow now or wait a while and have two. I don’t want go into the ins and outs of the experiment but the interesting bit came when they went back to the children later on in life and found that the ones who waited and had two marshmallows had far exceeded academically those who ate the marshmallow straight away.
What this study showed was that children who could delay gratification early in life were more likely to be able to put in the persistence required to succeed in life.
Children, Teenagers and swearing
Firstly I believe every household should have clear ground rules about what is and what is not negotiable in your house and I believe that swearing is absolutely one of those non-negotiable baselines.
By letting your child swear at you and get away with minor infringements you are giving them a pass to do more disrespectful things. When I was in the police I saw huge crime black spots turned around by focusing on the minor infringements and I believe the same applies to your home. Zero tolerance on the minor will prevent the major. Read more