How do you Parent?
To visitors our house may seem a little lively, there is the occasional flare up if someone has ‘borrowed’ something without asking, this is usually the girls and applies to a huge range of stuff including hairspray, belts, handbags and shoes – but generally our house is calm and we are all chilled out.
I don’t think this is luck or any exceptional skill on my behalf but I do think it’s a result of relaxed parenting!
Years ago when my first child, Naomi was just three years old I read a book called Do not Disturb by Deborah Jackson. The suggestion that I should relax, let my young child take risks and allow her to make mistakes was a revelation to me.
I read the book several times and put a lot of Deborah Jacksons ideas into practice. I think it is credit to this book that our house is full of confident young people who, on the whole, take responsibility for their actions. There is a genuine respect between us, which has been developed over the years and this helps enormously as we navigate the teen years.
It is more important now, than ever before that I need to remember to relax and let them make their own mistakes. It’s not easy at times – I am always there to offer encouragement, support and advice – but I wait, quietly in the background. The decisions they have made so far amaze me and I am so proud of the way they have handled various situations.
I believe that trying to protect or control our children’s environment is an impossible task – and one that will drive us insane trying. The only thing we can do is give our children the confidence and skills to deal with whatever comes their way and for this to happen we need to relax and trust our children!
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