How do you parents score as relationship role models?
My husband and I have had very different upbringings. My own parents almost never argued, whilst my husband was brought up in an often volatile environment.
There is no doubt that our parents were role models for us as we were both quite young, I was just 17 and my husband 20 when we met.
What We Learnt From Our Parents
I think it has been helpful over the years to realise that sometimes the behaviour we bring to our relationship is what we learned from our parents marriage.
What we learnt from our parents impacted on our relationship, my husband found it difficult to trust and I often go out of my way to avoid confrontation.
The Good and the Bad
It is very easy to point out the negatives of someone else’s relationship, especially your parents, but I learnt many good things about staying together, and being a never changing, solid and dependable team.
We have been married over 20 years now, and in fact are happier than we have ever been. We have children in their late teens and early twenties, all in relationships.
I often wonder whether we have been a good relationship role models. I hope so. What I hope my children have learnt that a happy relationship is dependent on many, many small things which is underpinned by one thing – communication.
I hope my children will not take our relationship as a perfect template but just as I did with my parents, see it as a guide, a way forward, as they go and become role models for their children.
This blog post was inspired from a question from Healthy Relationship for Couples.
Written by family therapist Denise Knowles, she says “Conversation can become stuck in a rut and partners can make assumptions about what the other person is thinking or feeling, but it is essential that couples keep talking and retain an element of curiosity in their relationship.”
To combat the problem of boring and predictable conversation, the Relate Relationship counsellor and Sex Therapist from Northamptonshire has written a set of question cards to help couples have better conversations to ensure relationships remain fresh and in good health.
Visit the Fink Shop to find out more about Healthy Relationships for Couples.